Big Family Spotlight: Christina

We're super excited to introduce a new feature on our blog: the Big Family Spotlight!  We firmly believe that everyone has something we can learn from, and we're hoping that by reading about other families and how they handle everyday life, we can all find something that will make our own days a little better.

Today's spotlight is on Christina, mother of eight.

Tell us briefly about your family.
Number of kids, ages, genders, etc., and whether they are biological, adopted, or something else.

Meg (16) loves to sing, act, draw and learn.  Her service to our family keeps things running smoothly.  Michael (15) can make a game out of anything.  I count on his positive attitude and put him in charge when there is work to be done.  Emma (13) is compassionate and thoughtful.  She spends her time reading and playing the flute.  Merian (11) is sweet and quiet but has a funny quirky side.  She is loving and forgives others easily.  Derek (8) can often be found constructing a new creative invention.  He is a future Imagineer.  Eliza (6) is spunky and ambitious.  She loves to buy packages of Skittles to share with her brothers and sisters.  Norah (4) is witty and clever and I love to snuggle with her.  Peter (1) loves to be outside and play with his older brothers and sisters.

Can you tell us about your family’s day-to-day “normal”?
What are your routines, or your expectations of your day?

This is the first week of summer vacation and I am thrilled to have my kids back home.  Being a mom during the school year is a lot of stressful, hard work.  The best part of being a stay at home mom is that summer is like being a kid again.  Library trips, swimming lessons, lazy relaxed days...nine months out of the year I think my husband has an easier gig but during the summer I feel almost guilty that I have it so good.

Of course, we work too.  We spend the mornings on chores, school work, and practicing the piano.

What is the best or most successful part of your days?
We all have our good and bad days, but we’re hoping that you have some insight that we can learn from.   Can you share with us a way to make our days run a little more smoothly?

The best part of my day is when I pick up the kids from school and they share with me about what happened in their day.

Is there a part of your day or life that is still a struggle?
Is there something that is just  generally more difficult?  We are hoping that through these spotlights, we will all be a little more connected - maybe someone else will have found a way to sail through the very thing that is a challenge for your family.

I hate feeling overwhelmed.  I have to remind myself to simplify our lives and focus on one kid or one day at a time.

What has been one of your greatest moments of joy as a mother?
Is there an experience that stands out as a real "success"?  Or maybe it's less specific than that.  What do you go back to in your mind, to carry you through the hard days?

I love it when we are together, whether we are working on a project, going camping, or just hanging out.  My greatest joy is when I see my children lovingly serving each other.

What has been one of the most emotionally or spiritually trying times as a mother?
Sometimes the hardest times turn out to be the biggest blessings.  And sometimes, the hardest times are just hard.  Can you share with us one of yours, and maybe what you gained from it?

When my husband, Nathan, had to move to Seattle to undergo a stem cell transplant for T-cell Lymphoma he needed a full time caregiver.  We decided it wouldn't be possible or in anyone's best interest to take our entire family and I needed to decide if I would stay at home and take care of the kids or go to Seattle and take care of Nathan.  Before this, I hadn't left the kids, except to have a baby, for over ten years and that was only for one night.  I knew they would be in good hands with our mothers, church, and neighbors and I trusted our older kids would help out, but it was a hard decision.

Because of complications we ended up having to stay six months, twice as long as we had expected.  I felt helpless being so far away from home when problems would arise.  Being Nathan's caregiver was consuming and it was hard to hear about problems at home and not be able to be involved because I wasn't there and I didn't have the availability to talk on the phone or Skype as much as I thought I should.

Coming home and being with the kids was wonderful but challenging.  Nathan still needed a lot of care and I was jumping into school and activity schedules mid year when previously I had home schooled.  The little kids needed lots of attention.  Norah would get upset if I even left the room and even now, six months later, she doesn't like me to leave her.  Sometimes Eliza shows up in my room in the middle of the night just to check that I am still there and Norah will wake up often and ask me to rock her or tuck her in again.  The older kids needed attention too.  Those first couple of months were hard.  I wanted to give it to them but I was physically and emotionally drained while trying to get our lives back in order.  I knew being with Nathan while he was in Seattle was the right decision, but knowing I had left my kids and they had needed me was hard to deal with.

Fortunately, every hard time passes.  Things are getting better.  We are so lucky to have had so much support during that chapter in our lives and blessed to have Nathan on the road to recovery.

What is "special" about your family? What do you love most about your family, what makes you unique?
Every family has it's own way of doing things, of getting along, of simply BEING.  What's the best part of yours?

I had everyone brainstorm to answer this question and these were the answers they shouted out:

We get along really well.
We play board games.
Disneyland
Musicals. There is constant singing going on around our house.
We play games: Settlers of Catan, Shadows over Camelot, Dominion, Legretto
Harry Potter
Avatar the Last Airbender (Our 15 passenger van is named Appa because it is big, gold and carries us everywhere.)
Phineas and Ferb
We have been involved in Destination Imagination.

What is your best advice to young mothers?
We have always loved asking our friends or relatives who have older children than ours for advice on the "hard parts" of raising our kids.  Is there anything you'd like to share with those who haven't yet reached the point you're at?  Maybe something you'd like to tell the younger you?

Be sure to periodically take a pajama day with your kids.  Read books and watch movies as you snuggle on the couch then make chocolate chip cookies together.  Once the kids start school opportunities for those lazy, cozy days are hard to come by.

Having little kids can be draining, but like anything, the effort you put into raising your kids while they are young will pay back when they are older.  The ideas you teach them now will make their teenage years easier. Teach them to be modest, teach them about dating standards and praise them for choosing the right.  Stop whatever you are doing, look into their eyes and listen to them.  The relationship you are building now will continue when they are older.  Teenagers are so much fun!

What do you wish other people knew about your family?
Sometimes it's what you CAN'T see that has the biggest impact.  What's the part that people "can't see" about your family?

I asked the kids and Emma said she wanted people to know “that it's not that hard to have a big family” and that people tell her “our family is huge, but it doesn't really feel that big.”

What is your best response to people who say, "Wow! That's a lot of kids!" ?
We know first-hand the comments (and looks) you must get when you're out with all your kids!

“I love it.  It's lots of fun.”

Would you share with us one of your family's favorite recipes?
We're hoping to compile a list of kid-friendly, easy, CHEAP, and yummy recipes so we all have a few more options when it comes to feeding these families of ours.

One of our families signature recipes is one that we made up and that the kids can make on their own.  They call them “Flying Saucers.”  It's really just a chicken, broccoli, cheese, onions, sour cream and salt and pepper mixture that is sandwiched between two flattened balls of dough (kind of like an empanada, but it makes a full circle) and then baked.

Christina, thank you so much  for being our very first Big Family spotlight!  We loved reading your kids' fun comments and insights into your family.  And wow, that six months in Seattle must have been so hard.  We especially loved your advice to young mothers - building relationships now that you'll continue to enjoy later - perfect!  Thank you for sharing your family with us!

*To everyone else: if you or anyone you know would like to participate in our Big Family spotlight, please email us at kateandmarcia@gmail.com