Confessions of a Middle Child

Being the middle child isn't an easy place to be. And the bigger the family is, the tighter the middle can feel. I remember very clearly the feelings of being overlooked as a child. When I was eight years old I threw myself on my bed, sobbing about the injustices of life.  When my mom found me and asked what was wrong, I gave this heartfelt speech, "Everything is special when Michelle does it because she does it first. Every thing Jami does is cute because she is the baby.  But nobody cares what I do. I'm just stuck in the middle like chopped meat!"

Looking back, I can see that my childhood wasn't actually as traumatic as it felt at the time. I was neither neglected nor abused.  But the feelings were still very real. As parents, it is sometimes hard to see life from the perspective of our children.  So to learn more about what it's like to grow up in a the middle of a big family, BigFamiliesBigIdeas (BFBI) went strait to the source: a Middle Child (MC).

This exclusive interview was given on condition of anonymity. For the sake of context I will say that this child is approximately 10 years old and the middle of five children.  Please enjoy these honest (and uncut) and enlightening answers.

Marcia


BFBI: What do you love most about your family?

MC: One thing I love about my family is that they are supportive and aren’t afraid to help me. Another thing that I love is that they are funny and we take a lot of fun trips and vacations during the summer. For example, almost every year we go to SilverWood. We also go camping a lot. I also love my family because whenever it is your birthday the whole family gets to go out and eat at your favorite restaurant. Also because they help me if I need help on my homework or if I am having trouble with something at school. The last thing that I love about my family is that we spend a lot of time together and talk especially when we all eat dinner together or at night when we play a family game.

BFBI: What is the hardest part of being a middle child?

MC: The hardest thing is that my parents pay a lot of attention to my younger siblings and to my older siblings. Like my little brothers get anything they want, and my older siblings get listened to more because they are older so they are more "reasonable."  Another thing that stinks about being a middle child is that when my sisters get something new, I have to wait until I am old enough to get/do what they did. The last thing I am going to say is that it is hard because everything that my little siblings say is cute, and when my older siblings say things it is funny, but when I say it, it is whiny, stupid, and “unnecessary”. Those are some things that I think are hard about being a middle child.

BFBI: If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

MC: It would be that I got more time by myself so that I get more attention without my other siblings there. Also I think it would be nice to be an only child. I think this because then I could get more things, have more attention and have to do less work/chores. Right now with as many little kids as there are here (because we are usually babysitting somebody’s kids at our house or having play dates and stuff) there is A LOT to get done everyday. Also then I could go to a lot more places. For example, I am very social and like to hang out with my friends, but I can’t because a lot of the time there is nobody to take me. Also then I could go more places with my mom and dad without them having to worry about my other siblings. One more thing that I would change about my family is that they would get along with me better and actually like to play with me.

BFBI: What is the best thing about being in a big family?

MC: The best thing is that when I want to play with somebody, I have lots of people to choose from (A downside is that it is hard to find ways to play with my brothers). Another thing I like about having a big family is that when we play family games there is a lot of people playing witch makes the game more fun. Also when somebody makes me unhappy or sad there is always somebody else to cheer me up. I also like that one of my older siblings is only a grade ahead of me so she gets a lot of the teachers I do, so when I get those teachers they already like me because they liked my sister so then I don’t have to try so hard to make them like me because they already do. The last thing is that there are a lot of birthdays in my family so I get to be at a lot of my siblings’ birthday parties.

BFBI: If you could tell your parents one thing, what would it be?

MC: One thing that I wish my parents would do more often is listen. Listen to what I have to say, whether it was important or not. Or whether it was true or not because I feel more important and listened to when they listen to what I have to say.