I'm Done Apologizing

I'm done apologizing.

Oh, not for things I actually did.  Not for coming down too hard on my teenager for being a teenager.  Not for responding sharply to the fourth kid in one night to get out of bed needing something.  Not for being wrong.

I'm done apologizing for what I didn't do.  Specifically, for what I didn't clean.

There are dishes in my sink.  If you come into my kitchen, you're going to see them.  They are right out in the open, loudly proclaiming to the world, "Hey, look at me!  We're from breakfast, and even a few from dinner last night!"  But I won't apologize for them.

There's a big old pile of laundry in my laundry room.  Also at the bottom of my stairs, which is the only reason there isn't also a pile in the hall bathroom.  I'm a little behind on laundry (approximately 15 years behind), which maybe I should find a new way to say, since that's actually pretty normal for me.  But I'm not apologizing for it either.

If you follow your kid into my basement, you'll see that some toys got left out.  And by "some" I mean somewhere between 5 and 5,000.  But I'm not going to apologize for them.

You know what I'm talking about.  It's what we girls do.  A friend comes over to visit, and the first thing out of our mouth is, "Oh, I'm so sorry my house is such a mess!"  Someone from church stops by, and we pretty much greet them at the door with an, "I'm so sorry!  I just can't keep up with the laundry these days!"

I say it.  You say it.  Everyone we know says it.

But not anymore.

I'm done.

I'm done trying to make sure that everyone thinks that my house is almost always clean, that my dishes are almost never in the sink, that the loads (and loads and loads and loads) of laundry calling my name are an aberration.

What am I really done with?  I'm done with making other moms feel bad.  I'm done judging you by apologizing for me.  I'm done sending the message that if I were to come into your house and it was this messy (or worse), it would be "too messy".  I'm done telling my friends that I think it's unacceptable for them to have dishes in their sink when I go to their house.

Let's all be done.  Can we all do that?  Can we just decide to be done pretending to be perfect and giving the impression that we expect others to be perfect too?  Please.

I'm done apologizing.  I hope you are, too.


Kate