Tough Love

My teenaged daughter and I headed out the door for a quick trip to Walmart, and my five year old son asked to come along and bring some of his own money to use in the coin machines right inside the doors of the store.  I agreed and waited for him to gather his quarters.  On our way to the store, my son told me he was going to play the crane game where you put in money for a chance to try to grab a stuffed animal.  I told him that was a bad idea.  I explained that those games are made to cheat and that it is basically impossible to get a toy out of the machine.  He said his big sister would help him.  I tried to convince him that even grown ups can't get toys out of those machines.  I said he would be better off just putting his money into the smaller quarter machines where he is guaranteed (unless the machine jams-which happens all the time!) to get a prize.

We arrived at the store, grabbed our few items, and headed to the checkout line.  While I waited in line to pay, my kids went to the front of the store to check out the vending machines.  When I caught up with the kids, my five year old was looking pretty frustrated.  He had spent $1.50 on three attempts for his sister to win a toy, and was still unsuccessful.  I tried to explain that he was never going to win because the game was made to cheat him.  His sweet sister offered to use her money and play one more time.  She carefully maneuvered the claw until it hooked a teddy bear.  As she lifted it into the air, my little boy's eyes were wide with excitement.  Then the machine lurched, and thankfully the claw dropped the coveted prize.  My five year old burst into shaking sobs.  I hugged him while he cried.  My heart ached for his tender little feelings.  But honestly, I was so relieved.  I was so glad he had lost.

Note* this is my seven year old posing and pretending to be sad for the sake of my blog. :)

What if he had won?  He would have kept playing those games and losing money forever.  But thankfully he lost.  I told him he would lose, and he did.  His trust in me was increased as I accurately predicted the outcome of his actions.  Was it sad?  YES!  He screamed in frustration the entire way home, then flopped on the couch and cried for an hour.  It was so sad, but he learned something important.  When he was done crying, we talked about how some games are made to cheat.  I introduced him to a new word: gambling.  Then we talked about the importance of making good choices with our money.  That if you want something, you don't need to try to win it.  You can set a goal and work hard to earn it for yourself.   I explained that the $2 lost to the crane machine could have been spent at the dollar store on a stuffed animal of his choosing.  He doesn't have to wait for luck to bring him an arbitrary prize.

Winning is fun, but earning is better.  My five year old knows that now.  Learning means growing and changing.  Change is hard, and growth hurts, but it's worth it.

That was $2 and a bucket of tears well spent.


Marcia