Dear New Kindergarten Mom,
Google "Kindergarten" and you'll get a million pages of "101 things your child should know before starting kindergarten", "99 ways to help your child succeed in kindergarten", "how to give your child a leg up in kindergarten"... blah, blah, blah.
Can we all just take a deep breath and relax a little?
In just a few weeks, I will be sending my fifth child off to kindergarten, and I have every expectation that he will do GREAT. Just like all my other kids. But what does "great" mean? If he can come home happy, full of stories about what he learned or how the funny kid next to him eats glue, that's wonderful. If he brings home priceless works of art to hang on the fridge, that's fantastic. If I hear him singing songs I haven't taught him, I'm thrilled.
What am I NOT worried about? Whether he is the "best reader" in his class. Whether he knows every one of those "101 things" I mentioned above. Whether his academic achievement in kindergarten has any bearing on which colleges he will get into.
Kindergarten is about learning to be away from Mom. It's about learning to get along with other kids - kids that your parents didn't choose as your ideal playmate. It's about learning to obey rules that are different from the ones in your family. It's about learning to follow a routine, and to respect the authority of a teacher. It's about... learning.
When I sent my oldest off to kindergarten, my expectations were different. I (secretly) wanted her to be the "best reader" in her class. I read those lists, and made sure she could do it all. I worried about how her learning habits would affect her future. I did everything I don't do now.
And you know what? She might have been the "best reader" in her class, I don't know. Teachers don't tell you stuff like that. Because it doesn't matter. But she did come home happy full of stories. She did bring home (a crazy amount) of art projects to display on the fridge. And she taught her brothers lots of fun new songs that we'd never heard before.
So, New Kindergarten Mom: learn from my experience. Your child is going to have a great time learning funny rhymes about the names of the continents. He is going to drive you crazy with the "days of the week" song. And she might even BE the kid who eats glue. Your child will do GREAT. So relax and enjoy it.
That being said, there are things you can do now to help your kindergartner to have an easier time making the transition (and they have nothing to do with knowing how to count to 1,000 or knowing 100 sight words).
- Start introducing the new routines now. If bedtime needs to be earlier, start moving it, 15 minutes each night or two, until your child is used to going to sleep at the right time. If she has been sleeping in later than she will be able to during the school year, move wake up time as well. It's not fair to her, and it's not fun for anyone, if she's not well rested and ready for her day.
- Practice your morning routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, check your backpack, whatever it is that he'll need to do before school. Take the stress out of the morning by making sure everyone knows what to do.
- Practice getting to and from school, several times. Walk the route, if she'll be walking. Go wait at the bus stop, if there's a bus. Practice waiting in line for the bus. Make sure she knows what to do, where to go, when to do it.
- If you're stressed, try not to pass it on. Some kids are naturally prone to worrying about new situations, others just go with the flow. Either way, saying things like, "There's no reason to be scared of starting school" is probably not going to help - you know as well as I do that your kid is just going to hear the words "scared" and "school" and make entirely the wrong correlation. Instead, ask what he's most excited about, emphasize the fun she will have, remind him of his fun Superman lunch box.
In short, relax. Have fun. Help your child have fun. And get ready to wish for earplugs when he comes home singing "days of the week".
Kate
Kate
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