Baby Must Haves: I am expecting my first baby, and I've been looking at a lot of "Baby Must Haves" lists online. What are the things I need, and what is unnecessary, and how do I know the difference?

There are only a few things you NEED for babies.  Blankets, Diapers, and Wipes.  As long as you can change them and wrap them up in something, you'll be fine.  Everything else is truly optional.  Seriously.  So now that you know what you need, lets talk about a few of the things that you might also want.

The wonderful thing about babies is they start out small and slow, so it gives you time to adjust.  So don't feel like you need to have everything ready and waiting before the baby arrives.

Bed and Bedding:  My oldest daughter slept in a laundry basket for the first two weeks of her life.  She has turned out quite well-adjusted and shows no signs of permanent damage.  (Kate's kids all sleep with her in her bed for the first few months.)  Eventually your baby will need a safe place of their own to sleep, but you have a lot of options.  A crib, a bassinet, a pack-n-play.  These are all great options.  So choose whichever you can afford or recieve as a hand-me-down.  If you are using second hand baby gear, just be sure and check that it is still safe and has not been recalled.  Matching bedding is definitely cute, but it's certainly not a must.  You'll want lots and lots of baby blankets of all different sizes and weights, but you don't have to have them all at once, you will likely begin accumulating them as gifts until you have more blankets than you have room for.  Small receiving blankets are great because they can pull double duty as blankets and burp rags when necessary.

Clothes:  A newborn is going to sleep most of the time and rarely leave the house, so what they wear is not particularly important.  Six to ten onesies and a half dozen pairs of one-piece jammies or nightgowns (even for boys) will get you through the first few weeks.  A baby can easily go through five outfits in a day so have enough clean clothes on hand to be able to make multiple changes.  And the simpler the clothes the better. You don't want to be struggling trying to get baby out of a million buttons or scrubbing poo out of lace.  Keep it simple and you and your baby will both be happier.  And one more thing, no shoes. Shoes are for people who can walk, so don't waste your money.

Bouncer, Swing, Bumbo:  It is nice to have SOMEplace to set down your baby, that isn't the floor.  This is more valuable for babies other than your first, as it is a good idea to have a "safe" place where the toddler won't sit on the baby, or try to carry them somewhere.  Some babies LOVE their swings, others hate them.  Some love the recline of a bouncy seat, others prefer the upright position of a bumbo.  This is why it is best to borrow these items, or at least get them used (cheap), since it's impossible to know what style of sitting-down your baby is going to be comfortable in.

Pump and Bottles:  Pumps range in price from around $25 to $400.  Some hospitals even send you home with one of the less expensive models.  If your baby ends up needing to spend time in the NICU, the hospital will rent one of the super-duper-industrial-strength versions.  If you go back to work, and want to continue to breastfeed, pumping will be a necessity, and will become second nature to you.  If you stay home, pumping will be the key to freedom.  Being able to pump a bottle or two opens up all kinds of possibilities like grocery shopping without Baby, or (gasp!) going on a date with your husband.  Even if you plan to nurse your baby 100% you still want a few bottles on hand just in case.  You never know when you may be unexpectedly separated from your baby for a short time and you'll want your husband or caregiver to be able to feed your baby while you're gone.  If you bottle feed exclusively, you'll need quite a few bottles, maybe 6-10, as well as whatever formula you or your baby prefers.

Nursing supplies: Everybody is different, and by that I mean "every body" is different.  So you won't know exactly what to expect or what you'll need until you actually start nursing your baby.  You'll want an ample supply of nursing pads either cloth or disposable, as well as a couple of nursing bras.  Make sure you have plenty of loose tee shirts in your wardrobe so you'll be able to access your milk quickly.  When baby wants to eat, you don't want to be stalled by tight clothes or buttons.  You may want some Lansinoh  ointment to help you get through the first few weeks too. Nursing can hurt, so be prepared to make yourself as comfortable as possible.

Medical Supplies: Ask your pediatrician.  Medical advice changes on a regular basis, so talk to your doctor and find out what they recommend for you to have.  You will probably want a baby thermometer, a bulb syringe (those round booger suckers), diaper rash cream, some infant Tylenol and some gripe water.  You might also want something to help clean out baby's belly button. But again, ask your doctor.

Soaps and Lotions: Babies don't really get dirty, so baby soaps and shampoos aren't necessary for quite a long time.  Until your baby starts spreading spaghetti sauce into their hair, you probably won't use baby shampoo.  And he only reason you would want to put lotion on your baby would be for medical reasons (eczema, diaper rash, etc.) so talk to your doctor if problems arise.

Stroller: Pick a stroller that fits your life.  If you are an avid runner, then a jogging stroller may be a priority.  If you are on the go in tight places a lot (city bus, subway, etc.) pick a super small umbrella stroller that is lightweight and doesn't take up much space.  If you intend to grow your family quickly (or are often with friends or relatives who have small children), then a double stroller might be a good choice right from the start.  Watch your friends, see what they are pushing, ask what they like.  Try to get a feeling for what you want before you put too much money towards a purchase.  And like anything else look at garage sales and thrift stores for an inexpensive one to get you started.

Wrap, Front Pack, and Back Pack: This is another purchase where lifestyle is everything.  Do you want to walk places with your baby?  Do you plan to carry your baby all day while you work?  Do you do a lot of camping or hiking?  These questions will help you determine what type of pack you need.  Look for friends who have similar habits to you, and find out what they use.  Maybe even try someone else's pack or wrap for a day or two to see what's most comfortable for you.

Car Seat: If you EVER drive anywhere with Baby, you must have a car seat.  This is one place you can't cut corners.  You can use a hand-me-down car seat, but only from a trusted friend of relative.  If a car seat has been in any type of accident, it's strength may have been compromised.  So if you aren't sure, don't risk it.  Most car seats are the same, so don't feel like you need to get a super expensive one. Your baby won't care, and neither should you.  If you are debating between getting a basic infant seat and getting a seat that can be converted into a booster for larger children, consider the needs of your family.  Convertible seats often cost a lot more, but your baby won't outgrow it as quickly.  This is great if you only plan on having one baby and you want to get the most use out of your car seat.  However, if you intend to have more kids, consider getting a basic infant seat. When your baby out grows it, you can get them an inexpensive booster, and pass the infant seat on to your next baby.  

Toys: Newborns don't need toys.  The one or two little plastic toys and stuffed animals you are likely to receive from friends will be more than enough to get you through baby's first few months.  Eventually you may want a baby gym or play mat for baby to lay on and have things to look at.

Bottom line, take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy your baby.


Marcia