Good Enough Today

As women, we do an awful lot of comparing.  Who is better than whom?  Who is better at what?  Who has more?  Who does more?

Today I'd like to respectfully recommend that we all knock it off! 

We all fall into different categories of feeling above or below average, so let's take just a second to look at those feelings and discover how they may be helping or hurting you.

Not good enough:
So you think you aren't good enough. You're not alone.  The world is filled with women who feel inadequate.  But what does that even mean?  Are you saying you aren't perfect?  Well, then you are right. But nobody's perfect.  Are you saying that other people can do things you can't?  Right again!  But there are things you can do that others can't do.  So what?  That doesn't make you better than them, just like their strengths don't make them better than you.

Ask yourself, why do I feel like I'm not good enough?  If your answer includes references to other people and what they do or are, you are headed down a dangerous path. You aren't them.  And you certainly can't accurately assess their value and compare it to your own.  So stop it.  Just because someone else can do something you can't (like shower every day and wear matching clothes for example) doesn't mean you are somehow not good enough. You're not perfect, no one is (with one exception, of course).  You can certainly improve.  Everyone can.  But that doesn't mean you should feel bad today about your imperfections.  Our imperfections are built into our humanity.  They are given to us to help bring us to Christ, the one person who can make us whole and perfect.

So if you feel like you aren't good enough, you are right.  No one is.  That's not an accusation, it's a fact.  But it's a liberating fact!  Knowing that we can't be perfect can free us from continual self-criticism for our imperfections.

A word of caution: let's not go overboard with our acceptance of mediocrity.  Just because we know we are imperfect doesn't mean we stop trying to do better.  We've all seen examples of people who like to brag about their failures.  Go to Facebook right now and post, "I just fed my kids PB&J for dinner.  Am I a slacker mom?" and in minutes you'll have a half dozen of your friends bragging about how they fed their kids TV dinners, ice cream, or nothing at all.  Now, there is some good to be had from this type of confessional conversation.  It's nice to know that you aren't the only one living an imperfect life.  But be careful not to let yourself get caught up in a bragging race straight to the bottom.


Feeling Awesome:
So you think you're awesome.  Great!  Some people suffer from exceptionally high self esteem.  It's not your fault.  We should all feel this good about ourselves.  However, you will need to do a few things to help keep your feet on the ground.

First, remember you aren't perfect.  Without God, you are still nothing, don't forget that.  It's okay to feel great about yourself as long as you realize there is still room for improvement.  You must always have enough humility to motivate you to ask God what he would have you change.

Second, support others.  Being great isn't about being better than other people.  If you can feel good about your own accomplishments, you should be able to feel equally happy for other people's accomplishments.  When you are comfortable with yourself, you will be everyone else's greatest cheerleader.


Getting better:
You are trying to do better.  Good for you!  We are all improving and growing everyday.  That is what life is all about.  We want to become something better than we are today.  Sadly, we sometimes feel threatened when our friends start changing their lives.   Don't be afraid of your successes.  Share it.  Enjoy it.  And when others tell you about the positive things they are doing, be happy for them.  Encourage them.  Learn from them.  Don't let the length of the journey ahead of you make you feel bad about your position on the path today.

So what am I really saying?  Quit comparing.  Stop worrying about other people.  Are you happy?  Is your life what you'd like it to be?  Do you think God is happy with you?  The answers to these questions will never be found by looking at other people.  And if the answer to these questions aren't what you'd like, then make a change, and be happy about the steps you are making toward change.

Be happy.

Marcia