Why I Make My Kids Pay Their Own Way

The only way for kids to learn the value of money is to use it.  So I try to give my kids as many opportunities as possible to earn and spend their own money. I make suggestions about where and when I think they should spend their money, but in the end, I try to leave the decision up to them as much as possible.

Sometimes this means having them pay for things that I would normally be inclined to buy for them myself. If my daughter says "I need a pair of shoes." I agree and offer to take her to the store where she can buy them herself.  It is amazing how many desperate needs turn into casual wants when it's their money on the line.

Last week our community had a "Family Expo." This is basically a giant room full of fair style booths with lots of games and freebies for kids to enjoy. It cost $1 per kid to get in. I had intended to just pay the five bucks and take all the kids, and I was about to announce to my kids that we would go as soon as their Saturday chores were done. Then my practical instincts kicked in.  I said, "The expo is today! Do you want to go?" Of course they all did. "It only costs $1. Do you have a dollar?" And they all did. "Do you want to use your dollar to go to the expo?"  Yes. "Great! As soon as your chores are done we will go!"


Something magical happens when kids (or people in general) pay for things themselves.  THEY APPRECIATE IT!

They feel invested in their choices, so they are more inclined to make the best of them and to view them positively.  And if a choice turns out badly (like the cheap toy that breaks on the way home from the store), they learn from those choices too.

This type of self discipline also gives them the opportunity to learn compassion. Let's say my kids go to a store and all want to put a quarter in a candy machine, but one of them doesn't have a quarter. The other kids will discuss who has an extra quarter and who might be willing to lend or share. They are considerate to each other so that no one feels left out. And they are grateful to each other. When you give money to your kids it feels like an entitlement. But when they give money to each other it's a gift to be grateful for. A milkshake your sister buys you tastes better than one from your mom.

It's a beautiful thing.




So let's recap my weekend:

My kids did their chores.
They payed their own way.
They were happy about it.
And I looked like Super Mom!




Marcia